Commes Des F**kdown: Guide to being Hipster

My outfit for a night out in Bristol. Taken from Instagram @hollyannarisdon. A crop top and an over-sized Levi's jacket  screams edge without desperate cries to be acknowledged.

Being hipster is easy, whatever your starting point. The place to start is your wardrobe. Boys and girls, invest in some vintage Levi's (stonewashed denim is essential) in jacket/high-waisted shorts form (but not worn together). Depending on your desired hipster intensity, ranging from moderate (there's no way you can be a little bit hipster) to off the scale, what you wear with your denim is essential. For obvious hipster but not too OTT, go for plain clothes (e.g. black, whites, slogan tees) and accessorise with some edgy jewellery. By 'edgy', I do not mean Primark or New Look. I mean charity shop or market stall - way less mainstream (remember, hipsters are just not mainstream). For moderate edge, go for some converse-style trainers or you could even stretch to some 90s-style Nike Airs for an even edgier look. Pair with ripped tights, denim shorts and over-sized colourful jumper for maximum hipster effect. You could also try some creepers (a quick Google can explain what they are if you're not sure). I've personally never been a fan of them but they add an edge to an outfit, even if they are stocked on the high street.

My Nike Airs - taken from my Instagram page @hollyannarisdon

Another hipster wardrobe staple is the beanie. A Commes des Fuckdown beanie or one with foreign words on it will help you achieve the really hipster look. It does need to be teamed with long-hair though (helping with the 'I-don't-care' attitude that I'll come onto later). A parka should also be invested in for true hipster 'I-go-to-warehouse-raves-every-weekend' style. For me, parkas only remind me of Frank Gallagher from Shameless which immediately turns me against them. 

For boys, a hair cut will edge you towards the hipster style. Go for short on the sides and longer on the top (I must say, a bit like Danny from The Script - but nobody has to know you asked for his cut in the hairdresser). Team this with a turtle neck jumper (patterned or plain will work), some rolled up jeans and some vans/converse style trainers. The obvious buttoned-up shirt will help you fit in anywhere. This shirt can actually come from anywhere nowadays with high street jumping firmly on the hipster bandwagon but charity shops and vintage dens will always result in the best buys.

Your style should scream that you 'don't really care' what you look like even though it's quite obvious you do. This means your attitude must be bang on as it's just as important as style. By attitude, I don't mean pretending you have an ASBO or an 'attitude problem'. By attitude, I mean your outlook on life. If you're hipster, you don't get easily stressed, often helped by the amount of green they smoke. I am now going to say that drugs are definitely not a prerequisite of being a hipster. In fact, it's probably more hipster and anti-mainstream to not do drugs - bear that in mind. You often see hipsters surrounded with other hipsters suggesting they are easy people to get on with. They also share interests of course such as warehouse raving or any other non-mainstream place (I recently encountered some of the most hipster people I've ever seen at a live Jazz night in Sheffield).

Don't be scared, you do not have to like staying up all night dancing in a derelict warehouse being covered in sweat that's dripping from the ceiling. To be a true hipster though, you really must avoid the mainstream clubs. Sorry if that's a shock for you and it's a free country but mainstream clubs will not welcome beanies as party attire and would prefer to see girls wearing nothing but heels and a 'dress' that makes them look like streetwalkers. Certainly not a hipster look. However, if you are interested in the warehouse experiences, check around on Facebook for those kinds of events or just Google warehouse clubs in your city. Motion, Timbuk2 and sometimes Thekla are great nights out in Bristol. There are great clubs in every city for this sort of thing. To be honest, anywhere that sells Red Stripe (that's all you can drink now, by the way - unlucky) for a ridiculously high price is allowed on the hipster list. 

If hipster is your style or you want to be more hipster and this blog hasn't helped, leave a comment and I'd be glad to update. See 'Acceptable in the 90s' in this blog or the sister blog (http://embellishmental.blogspot.co.uk) for further advice. 

Acceptable in the 90s

So you've come to university and found that everybody is dressing like Will Smith (Feat DJ Jazzy Jeff) but somehow pulling it off in the same way. Even your once loved H+M and Topshop are stocking hipster baggy t-shirts and backing the acceptable-in-the-90s double denim clash. Maybe this isn't your style and that's fine but it does need explaining as to why double denim, in particular, is making a pathetic comeback (like most of the bands from that era now are - "we just love making music" = "we just love making money").

We can only hope that we do not look back at photos of our university time and cringe like we do at the awful 90s children clothes (e.g. dungarees and bright colours) out parents dressed us in. Although a lot of the fashion is very similar with the return of scrunchies and high-top trainers. Interestingly and in the only time of fashion I can remember, you can actually wear anything and not really go far wrong from the 90s trend. This is probably because 90s fashion was that awful that anything goes (or everyone was too drugged up to notice what they covered their physical dignity with). If you really are stuck for how to get involved in this trend then it's simple: an over-sized denim jacket is key and will add a 90s twist to your outfit (Urban Outfitters have some fab vintage Levi's in at the moment). It doesn't have to be faded denim (see photo above) and the pink hair is not essential. The next purchase you'll need to make will involve a sports shop and some Nike Airs (or any other brand of high tops you prefer). I know what you're saying, Nike Airs and Levi's jackets cost a lot of money but they'll last a while and this trend isn't going anywhere anytime soon for us students. In fact, I'm not sure it ever left as it's always been quite a student-attitude and style of 'I don't care'.

The next and equally essential component is jewellery or anything you can hang from your neck or wrap around your wrists or fingers. By this I mean, don't you dare think about cutting off that disgusting Reading Festival band from 3 years ago (even though a Glastonbury band would've been trillions cooler) as it now forms part of your student identity. I'm talking any bracelet you find unless it's a 'shagband' - they will never be acceptable again. If you don't know what I mean then you were not born in the 90s. What I mean is that you should find a market with a jewellery stall (the Guildhall markets in Bath are great for that with homemade earrings from 99p) and stock up on lots of cheap and unique, edgy jewellery. As many ear piercings the better, by the way. The only problem with coating your wrists in crap is that putting jackets on, no matter how over-sized, becomes quite problematic and you end up looking like Nemo with a gammy fin whilst trying to stay 'hipster' and cool. Also, because the hipster look is being stocked on the high street and 12-year old New Look shoppers call themselves hipster, the hipster style has to come from your attitude. This doesn't mean you need to revert to mimicking Harry Enfield and only say 'Yes/No Mrs Patterson'. The typical hipster is usually very chilled out, sociable and tranquil (apart from when you can barely see their dilated pupils buried in a Commes des Fuckdown beanie in a warehouse).

My version of hipster. Yes, the scarf is actually a 'kanga' from Tanzania which I bought on my Gap Yah. Oh so hipster.

I therefore hope this guide can help any confused souls out there by showing how to rock a 90s look. If still confused, get some denim, some jewellery some high tops, a beanie or two and a scrunchie and you're ready to go. If this isn't your style, don't force it but just be thankful this aspect of the 90s is surrounding you and not leopard print cat suits à la Scary Spice. Hopefully that will never be exhumed.