A Guide to Getting Through November

The days are getting shorter, you course load is getting heavier and your bank balance is becoming closer and closer to your overdraft limit. That's right, winter is coming. Never fear though as help is at hand to get you through this tough month!

For most of us, November means one thing: no money. Gone has the loan that saved you from the horrors of Asda Smartprice and provided you with enough vodka to tranquilize an army. Without wanting to sound like your parents and for want of a better phrase, it's time to start budgeting. Budgeting for some of you may mean eating porridge 3 meals a day until you go home for Christmas but it's easy to save enough money to escape undernourishment. 

Firstly, going out is expensive. I'm not suggesting that you don't go out, that would be ludicrous. I'm suggesting being wise about it. Predrinking is a necessity as clubs charge an arm and several legs for drinks. They can also lure you to the bar with the promise of a £1 shot but allow you to drunkenly decide that spending £10 on a fishbowl is a good idea. I'm not suggesting that you should get so sloshed at predrinks that you can't get to the club, I'm merely suggesting that drinking a few before you go out will save the wonga. The same goes for food after leaving the club. We all love a Kebab-U-Like but wait until you get home. My reward for getting myself home is a chunk of cheese. 

Another considerable expense on a night is the dreaded taxi. Some of the taxi drivers can take advantage of a group of drunk people by charging them more than they should. Does "I'm not paying £30 to get to Frenchay!" ring any bells? Also, many UWE students have bus passes and as the buses now run later, you can get into town for FREE. The FirstBus also does a £2.90 night rider than allows you unlimited travel all night (until about 3am). Yes, taxis are easier but £6-10 on taxis every night out adds up. If your travel costs are cut down, you can crack on and get that Donner Kebab you obviously won't regret in the morning.

Secondly, food is the next biggest expense for a student. Granted, students don't have the best rep for cooking gourmet food but we don't have to. You don't need expensive ingredients to make something tasty. It starts with when you go shopping. If you go shopping during the day, expect to pay more than if you were to go close to closing time. The supermarkets mark down all of the food that has to be eaten that day and you can get ridiculous bargains - My best was a sirloin steak for 50p. You can freeze most of it too and it will usually be fine to be eaten up to 24-48 hours after the use-by date (but it depends on the product - use your common sense).  

Lastly, you have to remember that you're not at home anymore. Your parents aren't going to pick up the tab for frivolous purchases (unless they're very generous). So yes, we all love a Starbucks or a takeaway but if you're counting the pennies, don't go for a luxury coffee or a luxury-priced curry. I hate to break it to you, on a student budget, you will buy very little even remotely associated with 'luxury'. 

If you still need help getting through November, just remember all of your money problems will be solved soon by going home. Think of that roast on Christmas day.

A Guide to Teenage Girls

As much as I love boys, I am so glad I'm a girl. I'm 19 and, as a girl, was very glad to avoid the embarrassing voice breaking stage of male puberty, as well as patchy facial hair and usually, boys are significantly spottier than girls (thank the lack of showers). However, when it comes to female puberty, we women are born with an innate knowledge of what is to await us. All men, however, are born with an innate ability to ignore all female puberty warning signs and the inability to learn anything from our constant tantrums. 

The source of these constant tantrums are sadly known to nobody on this planet and probably nobody in the universe. They can cause a once lovely pig-tailed little girl who couldn't go anywhere without her favourite teddy into a screaming spawn of the devil himself who is willing to drag anyone and anything (pets included) into Hell with her. Sad but true. The worrying thing is that these can erupt at any time sometimes without any prior warning. This means that the tantrums are large and inevitable components of being a teenage girl therefore, I cannot guide any teenage girl or her family how to avoid such occurrences. 

Another component of being a teenage girl that comes hand in hand with the temper-tantrum is the stubbornness that only a teenager can have. This means that no teenage girl (or boy, for that matter) will ever apologise willingly, or often meaningfully, for anything they will have said or done in the temper-tantrum. The only guidance I can give you all is that the hormones are most likely doing this and that they will hopefully not be like that forever. Fingers Crossed.

The next stage that usually comes after some physical development is the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Obviously with a teenage girl having a girlfriend, the threat of pregnancy is removed but the threat of your precious daughter being broken-hearted "forever" is very real. The first boyfriend is usually quite an issue for most parents, especially fathers. Most teenagers will keep their first few week-long relationships from their parents but when the first serious one comes along, you're going to know about it. Often, the famed temper-tantrums become increasingly intrinsically linked to any slight argument with the beloved boyfriend. Now, fathers, I know what you're thinking: "who is this 'man' and what does he want with my daughter?". We all know that you know the answers to those questions so why do you bother asking them? We all understand you want to protect your little girl but be nice to the beloved boyfriend at least for the first time you meet him. Believe me, he will be so scared of you he wouldn't dare do anything to your daughter, so relax.

Soon, your daughter should return to a person you want to have dinner with every night which will relax everyone in the household. My only advice would be to let them get on with it. They'll thank you for it in the end. It's a hard time for everyone but make sure they've got enough chocolate and flowers. Girls love that.