A Guide to Beating the New Year's Blues

It's that time of year again where your timeline is filled with "new year, new me"-esque posts, Christmas and New Year's celebrations are nought but memories and your bank balance is lower than Paris Hilton's IQ. Never fear, here's a simple guide to getting you through the coming months with a smile.

1. Ignore the bullshit

At this time of year, people tend to get extremely self-righteous and disingenuously humble. Fortunately, this is often contained in the realms of social media. However, you will meet people that have got a New Year's resolution that cannot be questioned such as stopping talking about people behind their back. Very honourable. These people will then tend to force their new life-affirming lifestyle choice on everyone they meet. Not very honourable. Well done for making the amazing change in your life but remember you needed to make the change in the first place. Chances are these people won't stick to their resolution for more than a couple of weeks anyway. 

2. Enjoy saving a bit of money

We all love spending money to get new and exciting things that we want but, for most of us, that just can't continue after the binge-provoking Christmas season. As my Mumma taught me; if you make bargain-hunting a sport, your food shop will be much more exciting (you can also read my Guide to Food Shopping below for more tips). Go food shopping just before the supermarkets are due to close and get all the reduced things at an even lower price. You may think this is a well-known thing; maybe it is but more people still need to know! Try and appreciate the money you've saved when you've bought yummy food rather than a shiny new Apple product. Try out other websites such as everything5pounds.com - this is one of my absolute faves and their footwear is some of the most durable on the market for that price - amazing value! Use cashback websites, voucher codes, student deals - there are so many things out there to help save money and enjoy it! Just get searching. 

3. Look forward to the year ahead

If you're not a NY resolutions person, don't make one! Thinking about your year ahead and how you'd like it to turn out isn't making a resolution to "be a better person"; it's a pragmatic way to think about your life and a good way to make sure you achieve all you want to achieve. Maybe make a Bucket List and try and do some of the things on it. However, you can do this at any time of the year and New Year's shouldn't make you want to change as many advertising campaigns dictate!

4. Enjoy Winter and remember that Summer is coming!

Yes, it's cold. Yes, it's grim. Yes, it's winter clothes time. That means gorgeous coats, boots and as much knitwear as you can handle and we all love a comfy chunky knit! If you can't deal with Winter and are pining for the Summer sun and laissez-faire vibes, make some exciting Summer plans. 


















The moral of the story is not to let the time of year dictate how you feel. The above ways can help you combat it. GO AND HIT THIS YEAR IN THE FACE!

The Guide to the Great British Summer

In light of the recent weather and my subsequent sunburn, I feel secure in saying that us Brits need a bit of help when it comes to the sun and summer. The Great British Summer doesn't grant us very many nice days but when it does, we feel obliged to go and enjoy it with every appropriate skin cell. Unfortunately, this mean lots of pasty nudity on every street, beer garden and park in Britain. So here's a few tips to actually enjoy the few days of summer we get a year without resulting in pink, peeling skin. 

Firstly, the obvious: wear sun cream. I realise I may sound hypocritical as I am currently sporting a heavenly pink glow on both arms but I was in the north (Sheffield) and the sun was unprecedented - we're students so I wasn't going to buy some. Sun cream does actually work even if it is sticky and annoying however the SPF is important. For example, I have very fair skin (something I seem to forget in the first few sunny days) and need SPF 40 minimum. I do know people, however, that don't seem to worry about skin cancer and use an SPF 2 or a tanning milk (SPF0-1) - up to you but I wouldn't dream of it. In this country, obviously you can get away with a smaller SPF but always wear a higher SPF on your face if you want to have nicer skin than your contemporaries at the age of 40. Please do go and enjoy the sun (we don't get it very often) just think about being red and sore before you opt for the SPF10.

Secondly, I know it's sunny and hot but please wear clothes. A pet peeve of mine that I think is shared by many, is when people (lads, especially) decide everyone in the town wants to see them topless. When women do this, we're criticised for dressing provocatively - bikinis are for the beach, not for Budgens. You're going to get burnt and look very stupid. Up to you.

Thirdly, try to avoid barbecues organised by incompetent people - your food won't be cooked properly and food poisoning is likely. This may sound patronising but the kinds of barbecues you can buy in Poundland that people always take to the beach won't cook your sausages as quick as the awesome BBQ your family has at home, trust me.  

Lastly, don't get too depressed when the sun, inevitably, goes away for another year. This happens every year, you should be prepared. You're less likely to have damaged skin and you don't have to feel uncomfortable in your clothes because it's too hot to breathe. We don't live in the med so don't be surprised when the sun gets bored of red raw Brits.

A Guide to being a Tourist

One of the most eagerly anticipated events of a Briton's annual calendar is here: the summer holiday. You've got your sunglasses, your beach towels and your SPF20 that you'll soon have to disregard (sensibly) for SPF50+ after the first hour in the sun. You are probably going somewhere hot in the Med like Spain (a favourite destination for us Brits). The problem with this is that the colour of our skin is so noticeably abhorrent compared to the locals that we stick out like pale thumbs. This teamed with the bumbag your parents insist on wearing, the sunhats they insist you wear and the worryingly loud English shouted by your parents at scared locals makes it quite obvious you are a tourist. This guide aims to help you fit in wherever you're going this summer.

If you don't see what is wrong with this, then I cannot help you.

Firstly, your clothing will give you away way before you manage to offend them by adding '-o' to every word you don't know in a heinously embarrassing Spanglish accent (e.g. Hola, where-o... a.. restaurant-o...?). Try to avoid the bumbag look. Not only because it looks awful on everyone but also because you're just showing pickpockets where all your stuff is - clever. Try, also, to avoid wearing your swimming costume and sarong anywhere that isn't the beach or a swimming pool - it doesn't look good or fit in with locals and they're going be even more offended. However, if you insist on doing either of these things then please please PLEASE make sure you do not wear pulled up ankle socks with trainers or, even worse, sandals. It may be comfier than your slippers in winter but any sane person in the world (local or not) are going to laugh you out of their town. For good reason. 

Q.E.D.

Your clothing, whatever it is, will look ten times worse if you are sporting a lobster red sunburn underneath. Worse because it's red raw skin and worse because you so obviously look like someone from Britain who never gets any sun. I don't care if "it'll go brown tomorrow", it still looks horrendous and gives you a much higher risk of skin damage - your choice.  I understand you want to have a healthy glow but a TOWIE tan is too far (I hope you're listening, Essex).

Lastly, the language barrier is not removed in any way by shouting loudly in a weirdly accented English at locals who don't remotely know what you're talking about. You need to at least try to speak their language. Get a phrase book (and not a joke one!) and invest some time going through it before you get there. I don't mean on the plane, either! If you're a family, one of your children might be learning a foreign language at school so they might be able to help. However, if you want some help from them, you are going to have to try not to embarrass your children by calling them "the fruit of your loins" loudly in public. We hate that. So stop.

If you're going abroad this summer (lucky) then just try to remember that you're basically an ambassador for our country and I do not want to be known as an overweight, pale, balding, embarrassing nation. So just try not to be a 'tourist'.