Guide to the First Date

Congratulations, you've got a date! This is something I'm unsure of on this side of the pond as Brits tend to be with someone or without someone. However, more and more people are opening up to the idea of dating. A date can be any activity that two people interested in each other romantically partake in together (e.g. a meal out or zorbing for the more adventurous). A date can also be a period of time that both parties are terribly nervous and awkward in their attempts to impress the other. In fact, the first date often combines both descriptions resulting in an awkward period of time. Here are a few pointers to avoid the awkwardness...

Step 1 - Outfit 
First impressions are key so dress well. Even if you're going rock climbing, you don't have to go for khaki climbing trousers. The usual date will involve a meal out somewhere so you'll want to wear something nice. Ladies, I know this is difficult but (usually), they're men, they aren't going to notice if your shoes don't perfectly match your handbag. Depending on the restaurant (and the date!), you'll probably want to go for a dress - one that hugs the figure but hides the food baby. Heels are usually a must, too but not an essential. Also, you may feel better looking like someone from a 'framed reality' TV show with all that slap on but most guys and girls are scared of that look (just watch Snog, Marry, Avoid - hilarious stuff). Go for a natural look and hair that isn't too style - you'll only be stressing about it. Guys, go for a shirt and smart jeans/trousers - it looks like you've made a real effort. Also, try to avoid turning up smelling like you fell head first into an aftershave factory or that you've used an abundant amount of hair gel/wax - just looks bad. First impressions are key but don't stress about how you look - your date will smell the fear.

Step 2 - Activity
If the person you've fancied for aaaaaaages asks you out (yes!) but wants to take you to a heavy metal rock concert and you prefer all things pink (oh no), then don't agree to it just for the sake of it. You won't have fun or want to go on another date with them. Also, more problematically, your quick Wikipedia search on the band probably won't last long when they ask you what your favourite album is (followed by what your favourite song off that album is - unlucky). Similarly, don't insist on going to see a chick flic with a guy unless they love the Devil Wears Prada. In that case, always watch the Devil Wears Prada.

Zorbing - not the most romantic of dates...

Step 3 - Learn and avoid the pitfalls
You want to show the other person the best side of you and want to see them again (usually), right? This means you're going to have to learn what to avoid. Aside from getting the right date and time and not showing up in just your underwear (a bit presumptuous), here are the major pitfalls:
For the guys, don't tell any chauvinistic or misogynistic jokes, they only serve to shoot you in the foot (really, a woman can't handle a steak? Well, if you're paying I think I'll try, dipshit). 
Ladies, try to avoid talking about your outfit or clothes that much if you aren't getting a good reception (most straight men aren't all that bothered about whether Balmain jackets have too many shoulder pads). For both sexes, try to avoid texting at the table or texting too much on the date. You'll only look like a bored teenager who only needs a few more years to mature into full ASBO-hood. Avoid these major pitfalls and you'll be fine.

Step 4 - Avoiding Awkwardness
Ladies and gents, we all love to laugh but having a nice conversation with someone is very underrated. If you're constantly trying to make jokes (a lá Chandler Bing) then please stop - unless you are confident in the jokes you're telling. Bad jokes make the conversation become jilted and awkward. To make the conversation 'flow', ask about each other's backgrounds and interests without trying to sound like a stalker. 

If you follow all 4 steps and stay calm - they're on a date with you so they must like you! - I'm sure you'll have success on your next dates. Good Luck!

A Guide to being a Tourist

One of the most eagerly anticipated events of a Briton's annual calendar is here: the summer holiday. You've got your sunglasses, your beach towels and your SPF20 that you'll soon have to disregard (sensibly) for SPF50+ after the first hour in the sun. You are probably going somewhere hot in the Med like Spain (a favourite destination for us Brits). The problem with this is that the colour of our skin is so noticeably abhorrent compared to the locals that we stick out like pale thumbs. This teamed with the bumbag your parents insist on wearing, the sunhats they insist you wear and the worryingly loud English shouted by your parents at scared locals makes it quite obvious you are a tourist. This guide aims to help you fit in wherever you're going this summer.

If you don't see what is wrong with this, then I cannot help you.

Firstly, your clothing will give you away way before you manage to offend them by adding '-o' to every word you don't know in a heinously embarrassing Spanglish accent (e.g. Hola, where-o... a.. restaurant-o...?). Try to avoid the bumbag look. Not only because it looks awful on everyone but also because you're just showing pickpockets where all your stuff is - clever. Try, also, to avoid wearing your swimming costume and sarong anywhere that isn't the beach or a swimming pool - it doesn't look good or fit in with locals and they're going be even more offended. However, if you insist on doing either of these things then please please PLEASE make sure you do not wear pulled up ankle socks with trainers or, even worse, sandals. It may be comfier than your slippers in winter but any sane person in the world (local or not) are going to laugh you out of their town. For good reason. 

Q.E.D.

Your clothing, whatever it is, will look ten times worse if you are sporting a lobster red sunburn underneath. Worse because it's red raw skin and worse because you so obviously look like someone from Britain who never gets any sun. I don't care if "it'll go brown tomorrow", it still looks horrendous and gives you a much higher risk of skin damage - your choice.  I understand you want to have a healthy glow but a TOWIE tan is too far (I hope you're listening, Essex).

Lastly, the language barrier is not removed in any way by shouting loudly in a weirdly accented English at locals who don't remotely know what you're talking about. You need to at least try to speak their language. Get a phrase book (and not a joke one!) and invest some time going through it before you get there. I don't mean on the plane, either! If you're a family, one of your children might be learning a foreign language at school so they might be able to help. However, if you want some help from them, you are going to have to try not to embarrass your children by calling them "the fruit of your loins" loudly in public. We hate that. So stop.

If you're going abroad this summer (lucky) then just try to remember that you're basically an ambassador for our country and I do not want to be known as an overweight, pale, balding, embarrassing nation. So just try not to be a 'tourist'.

The Morning After the Night Before: A Guide to being Hungover

Good night out? If the answer is yes then you're probably hating life today. Am I right? Well, never fear, help is at hand to get you through this tough time in your life. 

Firstly, there are several types of hangover:

1. A slight headache (congrats) 

2. Headache and extreme tiredness (zzz)

3. Headache, tiredness and nausea (grim)

4. Headache, tiredness, nausea and fear of death (savage) 

You will know what category hangover you have as soon as you wake up by how your body feels. The category will also directly correlate to how you look. For example, if you wake up in last nights clothes or in nothing but your shoes, you're likely to be a category 3 or 4. If you still don't know how bad the hangover will be, check your phone. Categories 1 and 2 certainly won't have sent any embarrassing texts or tweets to angry flatmates or crushes whereas categories 3 and 4 will have confessed their undying love for their tutor over Twitter. Fantastic. 

If you are classed as either category 1 or 2 hangover then drink some water and eat salty food - you'll be fine. If it's 3 or 4 or you class it to be any worse then you are in a dire situation. Of course, it's made worse because it's self inflicted and therefore nobody feels remotely sorry for you. 

Categories 3 and 4 mean that movement is extremely limited due to the nausea. This also means you won't be able to tell hunger and nausea apart and from fear of being sick, won't eat or want to drink anything. I urge you to try and drink and eat something. You'll feel much more human, I promise. Carbs are always a good bet (pasta always gets me through it) but I'm sure I should be telling you to eat fresh fruit and veg (much healthier but the nuclear option is to choose carbs). 

Before food is consumed if you are nervous about vomming then I would try (I know it just be sooo hard for you) to get up and stand in the shower for a few minutes. You'll wash last night off you so you won't at least have to smell the alcohol anymore. 

The one positive to a hangover for a student is that you don't feel quite as bad lying in bed all day watching films. You're "ill" and therefore have an excuse. Also, you will be cheered up throughout the day when flashback memories from last night visit you. These usually involve you doing or saying something very stupid and embarrassing but you can always blame it on the alcohol! 

Just remember, you're not going to die evenif you feel like it. Just stick films on and eat some chips. In fact, that's a panacea for any problem you'll encounter in life. Keep calm and eat chips. 

A Guide to Thrift Shopping

Thanks to Macklemore and his associates, everyone and their dog has been obsessed with thrift shopping ever since his song came out. On this side of the pond, charity shops have long been linked to old ladies selling dusty old books and clothes for 50p. However, since the fashion shift to vintage happened a few years ago, anyone wanting to be known as 'retro' was shopping in Oxfams and Scopes across the country.Shops such as Beyond Retro are havens for anyone calling themselves a vintage fashion lover or an edgy hipster but their clothes do cost several limbs to own. This make the honest charity shop much more desirable even if it is less glamourous (although it makes the item much more unique). 

Rails and rails of vintage clothes that have potential to  be that one statement piece

The first thing to remember when sifting through thrift shops is that not every item is going to be bang on like a boutique thrift shop (e.g. Urban Outfitters) so you're going to have to dedicate some time to find the real gems. Also, there certainly won't be an awesome house soundtrack on in Oxfam unless you wear your headphones (but you don't want to be thought of as a 'yob' by the chairty shop elders). You will be confronted with rails and rails of colourful clothing that certainly don't look good put next to each other but accessorised well and paired with plain colours, it could be a beautiful, statement piece that can be recycled season after season.

The next thing to remember is that charity shops often do fantastic jewellery that has been donated. I have some fantastic real gold necklaces that work if I'm doing the hipster look or the vintage look. You do want to avoid looking like Mr T though, which is easily done if you go a little overboard on the gold. Other accessories like shoes can be quite hit and miss but handbags are often good quality and sometimes you can come across a Mulberry (if you live in one of the home counties, of course).

Thirdly, if you are an impoverished student wanting to keep up to date with the latest campus trend of being edgy but can't afford high street, head to the charity shops. Charity shops, if you're lucky, may have very similar 90s addidas sweatshirt that Urban Outfitters are selling for £40. Bargain and bang on trend - what more could you ask for?

Lastly, remember the motto "one man's trash is another man's treasure" so you can give back to charity any clothes you don't have a home for anymore and simultaneously possibly complete someone's outfit and make yourself feel good about donating. Win Win.

Guide to Boho Chic

I usually have a problem with any kind of style where the title ends in 'chic' disregarding it as pretentious and unnecessary. Strangely, this does not apply to 'Boho Chic' mainly because 'boho' on it's own sounds a lot like 'hobo' which conjures up images of dirty men in beanies and raincoats. The 'chic' reminds us that 'boho' is actually a very cool fashion style and lifestyle. You think 'bohemian' and you think of John Lennon, hippies and 'tortured artistes' with sunken cheeks and visible bones living in Soho on nothing but expensive gin and cigarettes for sustenance. Thankfully, to achieve a boho chic look, you don't have to do any of the above.

More extreme high-fashion version of the boho chic headband idea. Gorgeous.

To start with, you really should have long, straggly hair that can be contained under a hat (fedora-style) or headband (see above). If you need more inspo, look up Ms Yoko Ono back in her days spreading love and peace around with Lennon. You can also do a loose, messy plait anywhere on your head and it will be bang on boho trend. To be honest, a loose, messy hairstyle, whatever it is, will work incredibly well with this look. For extra boho chic points, add feathers hanging from your hair.

Other accessories include round sunglasses (again look for Lennon and Yoko), any clothing with a fringe detail and earthy coloured clothing (look for greens, blues and browns in particular). A handful of rings attached to each finger will also be bang on. For extra boho chic appeal, make sure they're from market stalls or at least look like they are - vintage is always a winner with this look. 

Shoe-wise it's always best to go for sandals (gladiators to put emphasis on the 'chic' or flip flops for 'boho'). It goes without saying that your nails should be painted or at least thought about before they go on show. for nail paint, you can go with bright colours if you want but neutrals or pastels are always best. 

When it comes to deciding what is most 'boho chic' in the wardrobe department, nothing screams boho chic like a full-length skirt. A full length skirt is summery, elegant and the loose fabric will make you feel more bohemian as you aren't constrained like you are with skinny jeans (without wanting to sound too Germaine Greer about it). Anything tie-dyed is also a fantastic way to nail boho chic. It leans slightly more towards the hippie end of the spectrum but still works. If you're struggling, just Google 'festival boho look' or (I hate to say it) 'Nicole Richie boho' (or Sienna Miller for a healthier option) and you'll see just how relaxed this style can be. The rule here is usually, anything goes.

From catwalk to camden, boho chic is an accessible, easy look that is cheaply achieved (Head to vintage or charity shops)

A boho chic look works any time of the year but mainly in summer and especially at festivals (I shall be alternating between boho chic [day] and hipster [night] at Glasto). If your hand isn't constantly shaped into a 'peace' sign, you're not doing it right.

A Guide to Teenage Girls

As much as I love boys, I am so glad I'm a girl. I'm 19 and, as a girl, was very glad to avoid the embarrassing voice breaking stage of male puberty, as well as patchy facial hair and usually, boys are significantly spottier than girls (thank the lack of showers). However, when it comes to female puberty, we women are born with an innate knowledge of what is to await us. All men, however, are born with an innate ability to ignore all female puberty warning signs and the inability to learn anything from our constant tantrums. 

The source of these constant tantrums are sadly known to nobody on this planet and probably nobody in the universe. They can cause a once lovely pig-tailed little girl who couldn't go anywhere without her favourite teddy into a screaming spawn of the devil himself who is willing to drag anyone and anything (pets included) into Hell with her. Sad but true. The worrying thing is that these can erupt at any time sometimes without any prior warning. This means that the tantrums are large and inevitable components of being a teenage girl therefore, I cannot guide any teenage girl or her family how to avoid such occurrences. 

Another component of being a teenage girl that comes hand in hand with the temper-tantrum is the stubbornness that only a teenager can have. This means that no teenage girl (or boy, for that matter) will ever apologise willingly, or often meaningfully, for anything they will have said or done in the temper-tantrum. The only guidance I can give you all is that the hormones are most likely doing this and that they will hopefully not be like that forever. Fingers Crossed.

The next stage that usually comes after some physical development is the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Obviously with a teenage girl having a girlfriend, the threat of pregnancy is removed but the threat of your precious daughter being broken-hearted "forever" is very real. The first boyfriend is usually quite an issue for most parents, especially fathers. Most teenagers will keep their first few week-long relationships from their parents but when the first serious one comes along, you're going to know about it. Often, the famed temper-tantrums become increasingly intrinsically linked to any slight argument with the beloved boyfriend. Now, fathers, I know what you're thinking: "who is this 'man' and what does he want with my daughter?". We all know that you know the answers to those questions so why do you bother asking them? We all understand you want to protect your little girl but be nice to the beloved boyfriend at least for the first time you meet him. Believe me, he will be so scared of you he wouldn't dare do anything to your daughter, so relax.

Soon, your daughter should return to a person you want to have dinner with every night which will relax everyone in the household. My only advice would be to let them get on with it. They'll thank you for it in the end. It's a hard time for everyone but make sure they've got enough chocolate and flowers. Girls love that.