A Guide to Getting Through November

The days are getting shorter, you course load is getting heavier and your bank balance is becoming closer and closer to your overdraft limit. That's right, winter is coming. Never fear though as help is at hand to get you through this tough month!

For most of us, November means one thing: no money. Gone has the loan that saved you from the horrors of Asda Smartprice and provided you with enough vodka to tranquilize an army. Without wanting to sound like your parents and for want of a better phrase, it's time to start budgeting. Budgeting for some of you may mean eating porridge 3 meals a day until you go home for Christmas but it's easy to save enough money to escape undernourishment. 

Firstly, going out is expensive. I'm not suggesting that you don't go out, that would be ludicrous. I'm suggesting being wise about it. Predrinking is a necessity as clubs charge an arm and several legs for drinks. They can also lure you to the bar with the promise of a £1 shot but allow you to drunkenly decide that spending £10 on a fishbowl is a good idea. I'm not suggesting that you should get so sloshed at predrinks that you can't get to the club, I'm merely suggesting that drinking a few before you go out will save the wonga. The same goes for food after leaving the club. We all love a Kebab-U-Like but wait until you get home. My reward for getting myself home is a chunk of cheese. 

Another considerable expense on a night is the dreaded taxi. Some of the taxi drivers can take advantage of a group of drunk people by charging them more than they should. Does "I'm not paying £30 to get to Frenchay!" ring any bells? Also, many UWE students have bus passes and as the buses now run later, you can get into town for FREE. The FirstBus also does a £2.90 night rider than allows you unlimited travel all night (until about 3am). Yes, taxis are easier but £6-10 on taxis every night out adds up. If your travel costs are cut down, you can crack on and get that Donner Kebab you obviously won't regret in the morning.

Secondly, food is the next biggest expense for a student. Granted, students don't have the best rep for cooking gourmet food but we don't have to. You don't need expensive ingredients to make something tasty. It starts with when you go shopping. If you go shopping during the day, expect to pay more than if you were to go close to closing time. The supermarkets mark down all of the food that has to be eaten that day and you can get ridiculous bargains - My best was a sirloin steak for 50p. You can freeze most of it too and it will usually be fine to be eaten up to 24-48 hours after the use-by date (but it depends on the product - use your common sense).  

Lastly, you have to remember that you're not at home anymore. Your parents aren't going to pick up the tab for frivolous purchases (unless they're very generous). So yes, we all love a Starbucks or a takeaway but if you're counting the pennies, don't go for a luxury coffee or a luxury-priced curry. I hate to break it to you, on a student budget, you will buy very little even remotely associated with 'luxury'. 

If you still need help getting through November, just remember all of your money problems will be solved soon by going home. Think of that roast on Christmas day.

A Guide to Music Festivals

Expensive, draining and filthy are three of the most common words associated with most music festivals. You're in a field (granted some are much much bigger than others - Glastonbury is 3/4 the size of my hometown!) camping with a number of other people who haven't washed, eaten or slept properly for days. So why do people go?

Filthy, Fantastic and utterly fitting for a festival

Firstly, the expense is totally worth it when you consider how many bands you have the ability to see. At bigger festivals, you pay more but you will never be short of things to see. Sadly, with that, comes clashes. If you're going with a group of friends, it's unlikely you'll all want to see the same band every time. Don't be scared to go and watch something by yourself if your friends don't want to. You may not get another opportunity to see what you want to again. 

Secondly, festivals are draining but you're there to have a good time as are the other thousands of festival-goers which gives a festival a vibe no party can ever hope to have. Be prepared to be tired for a lot of the time as you will hardly get any sleep (if you're doing a festival properly) because the best places to go in the festival come out post-midnight usually in a far-flung corner of the festival. Trust me, it's totally worth it. For Glastonbury, follow the thousands of people on the trek to Shangri-La after the headliners (Block 9, The Common and Shangri-La are the bets place for you ravers out there). Similarly, if your night is drawing to a close and the sun is coming up, bigger festivals will have somewhere you can go and welcome the day. The Stone Circle is the best place in Glastonbury for this. Here, you can recharge and continue your night or calm down getting ready for 2 hours of sleep. Once you have had your nap, don't skimp on any source of caffeine to get you through otherwise you really will struggle.

You don't have to do this but he looks like he's enjoying himself ;)

Thirdly, yes, you are going to be a filthy mess during the festival but the beauty is that you certainly won't be alone. Mud becomes an essential festival accessory but most people do tend to keep it all over their wellies. You can bring an amount of wet wipes to rival Mothercare's stock but you will still feel festival filthy. It's a fact. If you aren't comfortable with it, may I suggest not going to a festival. Nobody likes to be reminded how dirty they are. You just have to get over it. If you are having a problem with the filth, one thing you can do is bring plenty of clothes to change into. There's nothing worse than smelly, dirty clothes to give you away and make you feel even worse. 

Lastly, the motto "Go hard or go home" is one that should be stitched onto all wristbands as it is one you will live by for the festival. Go to a festival to see bands, dance and enjoy yourself. If you go with that mindset, you won't be disappointed. 

Guide to your first Parent-Free Holiday

If "OO-AH-MALIAAA I SAID OO-AH-MALIAAAAAAA" is all you're hearing at the moment then congrats, you're going on your first parent-free holiday. No curfews, no rules, no problem. Perfect. Or is it?

Firstly, if you think your parents are going to let you leave for your holiday without inviting the Queen around for a goodbye ceremony of the weirdest kind, you're wrong. It will all start a month or so before you're due to leave when they start to ask you about what you're going to pack, when you're going to pack and where you intend on getting your rape alarm from. My advice is to let them worry because even if you try to reassure them, they'll be right back on it the next day. After my A-levels, our friends went to a house in Cornwall (because it's where all the cool cats go). It's also because most of us were in couples and saw no point in having to subject ourselves to the sunburned sights of Kavos all trying to get off with each other. Our parents still "helped" with the packing meaning they took out every bikini and crop top and swapped it for jeans and a rather flattering sweatshirt owned since 2001. No matter though, the bikinis came with us. 

Secondly, I don't know how well-known this is but your parents are older than you. They have so much more "experience" of life which is unfortunately, an end to any rational argument about whether to take 2 cans of pepper spray or none. Your parents "know more than you ever will" even if they've never been clubbing or to your destination before. Your parents will never understand that you've had experiences of your own that they've never had and refuse to even think about comparing them to the rich and complex experiences they've had. My advice? Let them believe they know everything but use your own experience to guide you. You know it'll be hot so take a proper sun cream. That's from you. Your parents will also insist on kaftans and hats but you need to choose what to wear, not your parents. 

Thirdly and lastly, your parents will expect some form of contact out there and will have probably bought you an international calling card that they used a lot but us teens have never encountered before. If you contact them every now and then, you'll put their minds to rest and they can trust you. Remember, you are away WITHOUT your parents. Go and get so drunk you'll never want to be drunk again.

Unless you want to end up on Sun, Sex and Suspicious parents, I really would heed your parents advice on most things (or at least tell them you will) and contact them at some point. You do not want your parents being in the same club as you whilst you dance on bars with attractive/scummy people.

The Guide to the Great British Summer

In light of the recent weather and my subsequent sunburn, I feel secure in saying that us Brits need a bit of help when it comes to the sun and summer. The Great British Summer doesn't grant us very many nice days but when it does, we feel obliged to go and enjoy it with every appropriate skin cell. Unfortunately, this mean lots of pasty nudity on every street, beer garden and park in Britain. So here's a few tips to actually enjoy the few days of summer we get a year without resulting in pink, peeling skin. 

Firstly, the obvious: wear sun cream. I realise I may sound hypocritical as I am currently sporting a heavenly pink glow on both arms but I was in the north (Sheffield) and the sun was unprecedented - we're students so I wasn't going to buy some. Sun cream does actually work even if it is sticky and annoying however the SPF is important. For example, I have very fair skin (something I seem to forget in the first few sunny days) and need SPF 40 minimum. I do know people, however, that don't seem to worry about skin cancer and use an SPF 2 or a tanning milk (SPF0-1) - up to you but I wouldn't dream of it. In this country, obviously you can get away with a smaller SPF but always wear a higher SPF on your face if you want to have nicer skin than your contemporaries at the age of 40. Please do go and enjoy the sun (we don't get it very often) just think about being red and sore before you opt for the SPF10.

Secondly, I know it's sunny and hot but please wear clothes. A pet peeve of mine that I think is shared by many, is when people (lads, especially) decide everyone in the town wants to see them topless. When women do this, we're criticised for dressing provocatively - bikinis are for the beach, not for Budgens. You're going to get burnt and look very stupid. Up to you.

Thirdly, try to avoid barbecues organised by incompetent people - your food won't be cooked properly and food poisoning is likely. This may sound patronising but the kinds of barbecues you can buy in Poundland that people always take to the beach won't cook your sausages as quick as the awesome BBQ your family has at home, trust me.  

Lastly, don't get too depressed when the sun, inevitably, goes away for another year. This happens every year, you should be prepared. You're less likely to have damaged skin and you don't have to feel uncomfortable in your clothes because it's too hot to breathe. We don't live in the med so don't be surprised when the sun gets bored of red raw Brits.

Guide to the First Date

Congratulations, you've got a date! This is something I'm unsure of on this side of the pond as Brits tend to be with someone or without someone. However, more and more people are opening up to the idea of dating. A date can be any activity that two people interested in each other romantically partake in together (e.g. a meal out or zorbing for the more adventurous). A date can also be a period of time that both parties are terribly nervous and awkward in their attempts to impress the other. In fact, the first date often combines both descriptions resulting in an awkward period of time. Here are a few pointers to avoid the awkwardness...

Step 1 - Outfit 
First impressions are key so dress well. Even if you're going rock climbing, you don't have to go for khaki climbing trousers. The usual date will involve a meal out somewhere so you'll want to wear something nice. Ladies, I know this is difficult but (usually), they're men, they aren't going to notice if your shoes don't perfectly match your handbag. Depending on the restaurant (and the date!), you'll probably want to go for a dress - one that hugs the figure but hides the food baby. Heels are usually a must, too but not an essential. Also, you may feel better looking like someone from a 'framed reality' TV show with all that slap on but most guys and girls are scared of that look (just watch Snog, Marry, Avoid - hilarious stuff). Go for a natural look and hair that isn't too style - you'll only be stressing about it. Guys, go for a shirt and smart jeans/trousers - it looks like you've made a real effort. Also, try to avoid turning up smelling like you fell head first into an aftershave factory or that you've used an abundant amount of hair gel/wax - just looks bad. First impressions are key but don't stress about how you look - your date will smell the fear.

Step 2 - Activity
If the person you've fancied for aaaaaaages asks you out (yes!) but wants to take you to a heavy metal rock concert and you prefer all things pink (oh no), then don't agree to it just for the sake of it. You won't have fun or want to go on another date with them. Also, more problematically, your quick Wikipedia search on the band probably won't last long when they ask you what your favourite album is (followed by what your favourite song off that album is - unlucky). Similarly, don't insist on going to see a chick flic with a guy unless they love the Devil Wears Prada. In that case, always watch the Devil Wears Prada.

Zorbing - not the most romantic of dates...

Step 3 - Learn and avoid the pitfalls
You want to show the other person the best side of you and want to see them again (usually), right? This means you're going to have to learn what to avoid. Aside from getting the right date and time and not showing up in just your underwear (a bit presumptuous), here are the major pitfalls:
For the guys, don't tell any chauvinistic or misogynistic jokes, they only serve to shoot you in the foot (really, a woman can't handle a steak? Well, if you're paying I think I'll try, dipshit). 
Ladies, try to avoid talking about your outfit or clothes that much if you aren't getting a good reception (most straight men aren't all that bothered about whether Balmain jackets have too many shoulder pads). For both sexes, try to avoid texting at the table or texting too much on the date. You'll only look like a bored teenager who only needs a few more years to mature into full ASBO-hood. Avoid these major pitfalls and you'll be fine.

Step 4 - Avoiding Awkwardness
Ladies and gents, we all love to laugh but having a nice conversation with someone is very underrated. If you're constantly trying to make jokes (a lá Chandler Bing) then please stop - unless you are confident in the jokes you're telling. Bad jokes make the conversation become jilted and awkward. To make the conversation 'flow', ask about each other's backgrounds and interests without trying to sound like a stalker. 

If you follow all 4 steps and stay calm - they're on a date with you so they must like you! - I'm sure you'll have success on your next dates. Good Luck!

A Guide to being a Tourist

One of the most eagerly anticipated events of a Briton's annual calendar is here: the summer holiday. You've got your sunglasses, your beach towels and your SPF20 that you'll soon have to disregard (sensibly) for SPF50+ after the first hour in the sun. You are probably going somewhere hot in the Med like Spain (a favourite destination for us Brits). The problem with this is that the colour of our skin is so noticeably abhorrent compared to the locals that we stick out like pale thumbs. This teamed with the bumbag your parents insist on wearing, the sunhats they insist you wear and the worryingly loud English shouted by your parents at scared locals makes it quite obvious you are a tourist. This guide aims to help you fit in wherever you're going this summer.

If you don't see what is wrong with this, then I cannot help you.

Firstly, your clothing will give you away way before you manage to offend them by adding '-o' to every word you don't know in a heinously embarrassing Spanglish accent (e.g. Hola, where-o... a.. restaurant-o...?). Try to avoid the bumbag look. Not only because it looks awful on everyone but also because you're just showing pickpockets where all your stuff is - clever. Try, also, to avoid wearing your swimming costume and sarong anywhere that isn't the beach or a swimming pool - it doesn't look good or fit in with locals and they're going be even more offended. However, if you insist on doing either of these things then please please PLEASE make sure you do not wear pulled up ankle socks with trainers or, even worse, sandals. It may be comfier than your slippers in winter but any sane person in the world (local or not) are going to laugh you out of their town. For good reason. 

Q.E.D.

Your clothing, whatever it is, will look ten times worse if you are sporting a lobster red sunburn underneath. Worse because it's red raw skin and worse because you so obviously look like someone from Britain who never gets any sun. I don't care if "it'll go brown tomorrow", it still looks horrendous and gives you a much higher risk of skin damage - your choice.  I understand you want to have a healthy glow but a TOWIE tan is too far (I hope you're listening, Essex).

Lastly, the language barrier is not removed in any way by shouting loudly in a weirdly accented English at locals who don't remotely know what you're talking about. You need to at least try to speak their language. Get a phrase book (and not a joke one!) and invest some time going through it before you get there. I don't mean on the plane, either! If you're a family, one of your children might be learning a foreign language at school so they might be able to help. However, if you want some help from them, you are going to have to try not to embarrass your children by calling them "the fruit of your loins" loudly in public. We hate that. So stop.

If you're going abroad this summer (lucky) then just try to remember that you're basically an ambassador for our country and I do not want to be known as an overweight, pale, balding, embarrassing nation. So just try not to be a 'tourist'.

The Morning After the Night Before: A Guide to being Hungover

Good night out? If the answer is yes then you're probably hating life today. Am I right? Well, never fear, help is at hand to get you through this tough time in your life. 

Firstly, there are several types of hangover:

1. A slight headache (congrats) 

2. Headache and extreme tiredness (zzz)

3. Headache, tiredness and nausea (grim)

4. Headache, tiredness, nausea and fear of death (savage) 

You will know what category hangover you have as soon as you wake up by how your body feels. The category will also directly correlate to how you look. For example, if you wake up in last nights clothes or in nothing but your shoes, you're likely to be a category 3 or 4. If you still don't know how bad the hangover will be, check your phone. Categories 1 and 2 certainly won't have sent any embarrassing texts or tweets to angry flatmates or crushes whereas categories 3 and 4 will have confessed their undying love for their tutor over Twitter. Fantastic. 

If you are classed as either category 1 or 2 hangover then drink some water and eat salty food - you'll be fine. If it's 3 or 4 or you class it to be any worse then you are in a dire situation. Of course, it's made worse because it's self inflicted and therefore nobody feels remotely sorry for you. 

Categories 3 and 4 mean that movement is extremely limited due to the nausea. This also means you won't be able to tell hunger and nausea apart and from fear of being sick, won't eat or want to drink anything. I urge you to try and drink and eat something. You'll feel much more human, I promise. Carbs are always a good bet (pasta always gets me through it) but I'm sure I should be telling you to eat fresh fruit and veg (much healthier but the nuclear option is to choose carbs). 

Before food is consumed if you are nervous about vomming then I would try (I know it just be sooo hard for you) to get up and stand in the shower for a few minutes. You'll wash last night off you so you won't at least have to smell the alcohol anymore. 

The one positive to a hangover for a student is that you don't feel quite as bad lying in bed all day watching films. You're "ill" and therefore have an excuse. Also, you will be cheered up throughout the day when flashback memories from last night visit you. These usually involve you doing or saying something very stupid and embarrassing but you can always blame it on the alcohol! 

Just remember, you're not going to die evenif you feel like it. Just stick films on and eat some chips. In fact, that's a panacea for any problem you'll encounter in life. Keep calm and eat chips. 

A Guide to Thrift Shopping

Thanks to Macklemore and his associates, everyone and their dog has been obsessed with thrift shopping ever since his song came out. On this side of the pond, charity shops have long been linked to old ladies selling dusty old books and clothes for 50p. However, since the fashion shift to vintage happened a few years ago, anyone wanting to be known as 'retro' was shopping in Oxfams and Scopes across the country.Shops such as Beyond Retro are havens for anyone calling themselves a vintage fashion lover or an edgy hipster but their clothes do cost several limbs to own. This make the honest charity shop much more desirable even if it is less glamourous (although it makes the item much more unique). 

Rails and rails of vintage clothes that have potential to  be that one statement piece

The first thing to remember when sifting through thrift shops is that not every item is going to be bang on like a boutique thrift shop (e.g. Urban Outfitters) so you're going to have to dedicate some time to find the real gems. Also, there certainly won't be an awesome house soundtrack on in Oxfam unless you wear your headphones (but you don't want to be thought of as a 'yob' by the chairty shop elders). You will be confronted with rails and rails of colourful clothing that certainly don't look good put next to each other but accessorised well and paired with plain colours, it could be a beautiful, statement piece that can be recycled season after season.

The next thing to remember is that charity shops often do fantastic jewellery that has been donated. I have some fantastic real gold necklaces that work if I'm doing the hipster look or the vintage look. You do want to avoid looking like Mr T though, which is easily done if you go a little overboard on the gold. Other accessories like shoes can be quite hit and miss but handbags are often good quality and sometimes you can come across a Mulberry (if you live in one of the home counties, of course).

Thirdly, if you are an impoverished student wanting to keep up to date with the latest campus trend of being edgy but can't afford high street, head to the charity shops. Charity shops, if you're lucky, may have very similar 90s addidas sweatshirt that Urban Outfitters are selling for £40. Bargain and bang on trend - what more could you ask for?

Lastly, remember the motto "one man's trash is another man's treasure" so you can give back to charity any clothes you don't have a home for anymore and simultaneously possibly complete someone's outfit and make yourself feel good about donating. Win Win.

Guide to Boho Chic

I usually have a problem with any kind of style where the title ends in 'chic' disregarding it as pretentious and unnecessary. Strangely, this does not apply to 'Boho Chic' mainly because 'boho' on it's own sounds a lot like 'hobo' which conjures up images of dirty men in beanies and raincoats. The 'chic' reminds us that 'boho' is actually a very cool fashion style and lifestyle. You think 'bohemian' and you think of John Lennon, hippies and 'tortured artistes' with sunken cheeks and visible bones living in Soho on nothing but expensive gin and cigarettes for sustenance. Thankfully, to achieve a boho chic look, you don't have to do any of the above.

More extreme high-fashion version of the boho chic headband idea. Gorgeous.

To start with, you really should have long, straggly hair that can be contained under a hat (fedora-style) or headband (see above). If you need more inspo, look up Ms Yoko Ono back in her days spreading love and peace around with Lennon. You can also do a loose, messy plait anywhere on your head and it will be bang on boho trend. To be honest, a loose, messy hairstyle, whatever it is, will work incredibly well with this look. For extra boho chic points, add feathers hanging from your hair.

Other accessories include round sunglasses (again look for Lennon and Yoko), any clothing with a fringe detail and earthy coloured clothing (look for greens, blues and browns in particular). A handful of rings attached to each finger will also be bang on. For extra boho chic appeal, make sure they're from market stalls or at least look like they are - vintage is always a winner with this look. 

Shoe-wise it's always best to go for sandals (gladiators to put emphasis on the 'chic' or flip flops for 'boho'). It goes without saying that your nails should be painted or at least thought about before they go on show. for nail paint, you can go with bright colours if you want but neutrals or pastels are always best. 

When it comes to deciding what is most 'boho chic' in the wardrobe department, nothing screams boho chic like a full-length skirt. A full length skirt is summery, elegant and the loose fabric will make you feel more bohemian as you aren't constrained like you are with skinny jeans (without wanting to sound too Germaine Greer about it). Anything tie-dyed is also a fantastic way to nail boho chic. It leans slightly more towards the hippie end of the spectrum but still works. If you're struggling, just Google 'festival boho look' or (I hate to say it) 'Nicole Richie boho' (or Sienna Miller for a healthier option) and you'll see just how relaxed this style can be. The rule here is usually, anything goes.

From catwalk to camden, boho chic is an accessible, easy look that is cheaply achieved (Head to vintage or charity shops)

A boho chic look works any time of the year but mainly in summer and especially at festivals (I shall be alternating between boho chic [day] and hipster [night] at Glasto). If your hand isn't constantly shaped into a 'peace' sign, you're not doing it right.

A Guide to Teenage Girls

As much as I love boys, I am so glad I'm a girl. I'm 19 and, as a girl, was very glad to avoid the embarrassing voice breaking stage of male puberty, as well as patchy facial hair and usually, boys are significantly spottier than girls (thank the lack of showers). However, when it comes to female puberty, we women are born with an innate knowledge of what is to await us. All men, however, are born with an innate ability to ignore all female puberty warning signs and the inability to learn anything from our constant tantrums. 

The source of these constant tantrums are sadly known to nobody on this planet and probably nobody in the universe. They can cause a once lovely pig-tailed little girl who couldn't go anywhere without her favourite teddy into a screaming spawn of the devil himself who is willing to drag anyone and anything (pets included) into Hell with her. Sad but true. The worrying thing is that these can erupt at any time sometimes without any prior warning. This means that the tantrums are large and inevitable components of being a teenage girl therefore, I cannot guide any teenage girl or her family how to avoid such occurrences. 

Another component of being a teenage girl that comes hand in hand with the temper-tantrum is the stubbornness that only a teenager can have. This means that no teenage girl (or boy, for that matter) will ever apologise willingly, or often meaningfully, for anything they will have said or done in the temper-tantrum. The only guidance I can give you all is that the hormones are most likely doing this and that they will hopefully not be like that forever. Fingers Crossed.

The next stage that usually comes after some physical development is the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Obviously with a teenage girl having a girlfriend, the threat of pregnancy is removed but the threat of your precious daughter being broken-hearted "forever" is very real. The first boyfriend is usually quite an issue for most parents, especially fathers. Most teenagers will keep their first few week-long relationships from their parents but when the first serious one comes along, you're going to know about it. Often, the famed temper-tantrums become increasingly intrinsically linked to any slight argument with the beloved boyfriend. Now, fathers, I know what you're thinking: "who is this 'man' and what does he want with my daughter?". We all know that you know the answers to those questions so why do you bother asking them? We all understand you want to protect your little girl but be nice to the beloved boyfriend at least for the first time you meet him. Believe me, he will be so scared of you he wouldn't dare do anything to your daughter, so relax.

Soon, your daughter should return to a person you want to have dinner with every night which will relax everyone in the household. My only advice would be to let them get on with it. They'll thank you for it in the end. It's a hard time for everyone but make sure they've got enough chocolate and flowers. Girls love that.

Commes Des F**kdown: Guide to being Hipster

My outfit for a night out in Bristol. Taken from Instagram @hollyannarisdon. A crop top and an over-sized Levi's jacket  screams edge without desperate cries to be acknowledged.

Being hipster is easy, whatever your starting point. The place to start is your wardrobe. Boys and girls, invest in some vintage Levi's (stonewashed denim is essential) in jacket/high-waisted shorts form (but not worn together). Depending on your desired hipster intensity, ranging from moderate (there's no way you can be a little bit hipster) to off the scale, what you wear with your denim is essential. For obvious hipster but not too OTT, go for plain clothes (e.g. black, whites, slogan tees) and accessorise with some edgy jewellery. By 'edgy', I do not mean Primark or New Look. I mean charity shop or market stall - way less mainstream (remember, hipsters are just not mainstream). For moderate edge, go for some converse-style trainers or you could even stretch to some 90s-style Nike Airs for an even edgier look. Pair with ripped tights, denim shorts and over-sized colourful jumper for maximum hipster effect. You could also try some creepers (a quick Google can explain what they are if you're not sure). I've personally never been a fan of them but they add an edge to an outfit, even if they are stocked on the high street.

My Nike Airs - taken from my Instagram page @hollyannarisdon

Another hipster wardrobe staple is the beanie. A Commes des Fuckdown beanie or one with foreign words on it will help you achieve the really hipster look. It does need to be teamed with long-hair though (helping with the 'I-don't-care' attitude that I'll come onto later). A parka should also be invested in for true hipster 'I-go-to-warehouse-raves-every-weekend' style. For me, parkas only remind me of Frank Gallagher from Shameless which immediately turns me against them. 

For boys, a hair cut will edge you towards the hipster style. Go for short on the sides and longer on the top (I must say, a bit like Danny from The Script - but nobody has to know you asked for his cut in the hairdresser). Team this with a turtle neck jumper (patterned or plain will work), some rolled up jeans and some vans/converse style trainers. The obvious buttoned-up shirt will help you fit in anywhere. This shirt can actually come from anywhere nowadays with high street jumping firmly on the hipster bandwagon but charity shops and vintage dens will always result in the best buys.

Your style should scream that you 'don't really care' what you look like even though it's quite obvious you do. This means your attitude must be bang on as it's just as important as style. By attitude, I don't mean pretending you have an ASBO or an 'attitude problem'. By attitude, I mean your outlook on life. If you're hipster, you don't get easily stressed, often helped by the amount of green they smoke. I am now going to say that drugs are definitely not a prerequisite of being a hipster. In fact, it's probably more hipster and anti-mainstream to not do drugs - bear that in mind. You often see hipsters surrounded with other hipsters suggesting they are easy people to get on with. They also share interests of course such as warehouse raving or any other non-mainstream place (I recently encountered some of the most hipster people I've ever seen at a live Jazz night in Sheffield).

Don't be scared, you do not have to like staying up all night dancing in a derelict warehouse being covered in sweat that's dripping from the ceiling. To be a true hipster though, you really must avoid the mainstream clubs. Sorry if that's a shock for you and it's a free country but mainstream clubs will not welcome beanies as party attire and would prefer to see girls wearing nothing but heels and a 'dress' that makes them look like streetwalkers. Certainly not a hipster look. However, if you are interested in the warehouse experiences, check around on Facebook for those kinds of events or just Google warehouse clubs in your city. Motion, Timbuk2 and sometimes Thekla are great nights out in Bristol. There are great clubs in every city for this sort of thing. To be honest, anywhere that sells Red Stripe (that's all you can drink now, by the way - unlucky) for a ridiculously high price is allowed on the hipster list. 

If hipster is your style or you want to be more hipster and this blog hasn't helped, leave a comment and I'd be glad to update. See 'Acceptable in the 90s' in this blog or the sister blog (http://embellishmental.blogspot.co.uk) for further advice. 

Cooking up a Storm

Your cupboards are empty and you are trying to find recipes involving mayonnaise and half a red pepper on Google. This means you must go to the nearest supermarket and fill up several plastic bags with food to load on yourself like a camel before trekking home. As if this wasn't stressful enough, now you actually have to cook for yourself. Once your cupboards and fridge shelf are gloriously filled, you are on the road to dedicating many Instagram posts to your food you deem to be gourmet but is only really a stir fry (the meal that got me through first year). Other key meals include Spag Bol or, indeed, anything where the key ingredient is pasta.

Just a salad but look how Instagrammable. 

If you do want to cook some healthy meals, you can delve into the realms of the famed Student Cookbook that you've definitely been given by well-wishing family friends. The main problem with this is that you will never have all of the ingredients needed to make even a vague copy of the pristine picture in the book. To avoid this, you'll have to go shopping with the meal you want to make in mind which means one thing: organisation. This is something we students are not world-renowned for so unless you have a deadline you haven't planned for and will therefore organise the 24 hours before that deadline like a military operation consisting of a savage fight for a library computer and surrounding vending machines. However, unless your student cookbook is from Waitrose, none of the recipes will require anything other than essentials (i.e. no Cumin or Tarragon) so what you've managed to buy that wasn't crisps and chocolate should create some sort of meal. Your cookbook will mainly consist of stir frying vegetables with miscellaneous, interchangeable meat and many noodle dishes. Sadly, it doesn't matter how good a cook you are or how well you stuck to the recipe, you will never be able to make the food look as good as the photo even with the best choice of Instagram filter. You will also be stuck with a flatmate who is more skilled than your parents in the kitchen which you will inevitably want to avoid unless they are offering to roast plenty of food for you with minimal charge. Then they are your best friend. It is likely that this all-knowledgeable flatmate will cook with vegetables and salad which automatically makes that internet-friendly. Even a salad garnish will make any meal look infinitely healthier and therefore more Instagrammable (apart from chicken nuggets/fish fingers and chips - I'm afraid that will never look healthy). My only problem with Instagram posts of food is the accompanying hashtags (e.g. #instafood, #instagood and even #instachicken and all other hashtags starting with 'insta'). I also have the problem of eating all of the meal in one mouthful if it was worthy of Instagram because it just looks so damn good before being able to take a photo.

Don't fret if you can only cook up beans/cheese on toast or a jacket potato, Instagrammable meals will come with time and by the 3rd semester, you'll think you're Nigella/Jamie but better because you're a student and therefore cooking on a budget. My flatmate recently discovered Marmite pasta when he had bare cupboards and it's not half bad. So stock up on pasta and noodles and get creative. 

Acceptable in the 90s

So you've come to university and found that everybody is dressing like Will Smith (Feat DJ Jazzy Jeff) but somehow pulling it off in the same way. Even your once loved H+M and Topshop are stocking hipster baggy t-shirts and backing the acceptable-in-the-90s double denim clash. Maybe this isn't your style and that's fine but it does need explaining as to why double denim, in particular, is making a pathetic comeback (like most of the bands from that era now are - "we just love making music" = "we just love making money").

We can only hope that we do not look back at photos of our university time and cringe like we do at the awful 90s children clothes (e.g. dungarees and bright colours) out parents dressed us in. Although a lot of the fashion is very similar with the return of scrunchies and high-top trainers. Interestingly and in the only time of fashion I can remember, you can actually wear anything and not really go far wrong from the 90s trend. This is probably because 90s fashion was that awful that anything goes (or everyone was too drugged up to notice what they covered their physical dignity with). If you really are stuck for how to get involved in this trend then it's simple: an over-sized denim jacket is key and will add a 90s twist to your outfit (Urban Outfitters have some fab vintage Levi's in at the moment). It doesn't have to be faded denim (see photo above) and the pink hair is not essential. The next purchase you'll need to make will involve a sports shop and some Nike Airs (or any other brand of high tops you prefer). I know what you're saying, Nike Airs and Levi's jackets cost a lot of money but they'll last a while and this trend isn't going anywhere anytime soon for us students. In fact, I'm not sure it ever left as it's always been quite a student-attitude and style of 'I don't care'.

The next and equally essential component is jewellery or anything you can hang from your neck or wrap around your wrists or fingers. By this I mean, don't you dare think about cutting off that disgusting Reading Festival band from 3 years ago (even though a Glastonbury band would've been trillions cooler) as it now forms part of your student identity. I'm talking any bracelet you find unless it's a 'shagband' - they will never be acceptable again. If you don't know what I mean then you were not born in the 90s. What I mean is that you should find a market with a jewellery stall (the Guildhall markets in Bath are great for that with homemade earrings from 99p) and stock up on lots of cheap and unique, edgy jewellery. As many ear piercings the better, by the way. The only problem with coating your wrists in crap is that putting jackets on, no matter how over-sized, becomes quite problematic and you end up looking like Nemo with a gammy fin whilst trying to stay 'hipster' and cool. Also, because the hipster look is being stocked on the high street and 12-year old New Look shoppers call themselves hipster, the hipster style has to come from your attitude. This doesn't mean you need to revert to mimicking Harry Enfield and only say 'Yes/No Mrs Patterson'. The typical hipster is usually very chilled out, sociable and tranquil (apart from when you can barely see their dilated pupils buried in a Commes des Fuckdown beanie in a warehouse).

My version of hipster. Yes, the scarf is actually a 'kanga' from Tanzania which I bought on my Gap Yah. Oh so hipster.

I therefore hope this guide can help any confused souls out there by showing how to rock a 90s look. If still confused, get some denim, some jewellery some high tops, a beanie or two and a scrunchie and you're ready to go. If this isn't your style, don't force it but just be thankful this aspect of the 90s is surrounding you and not leopard print cat suits à la Scary Spice. Hopefully that will never be exhumed.

Every Little Helps: The Guide to Student Food Shopping

Gone has the hamper of gorgeous branded food your parents bought you for university which only means one thing: you're going to have to go food shopping. Luckily for me, I like shopping and my Dad hates it so I was the one that went to do the food shop on my ever-useful and ever-educational Gap Yah. However, the food shop will be trickier if you haven't been food shopping since you were younger and you used to have to hold on to the side of the trolley while your parent feared overwhelmingly that they'd lose you. But don't worry help is at hand. All you have to do is follow this guide to food shopping and you'll live through this year.

Firstly, I am in no doubt that you can and will live off food similar to that demonstrated in the photo above for at least the first semester because it's yummy and Mummy and Daddy aren't here telling you not to eat too much sugar (even though they're right) but hey, it's fun to rebel. However, at some dark time over the Winter, probably when you're at home for the holidays and you laugh at how funny a Butternut Squash looks because you haven't seen any vegetable for so long. This sad moment will spark an epiphany that you actually probably hate eating crisps and chocolate and noodles all day and need a change. This change will stem from your shopping and instead of spending all your time in the 'Savoury Snacks' aisle, you may just have to visit the 'Fresh Meat' aisle. Here, you will have ingredients for healthy meals and then you can take photos of your first roast to your doting parents. Be warned, this will now mean you're drafted in to help make the family roast whilst at home and can't have a Sunday afternoon nap anymore. You nap enough anyway, you're a student.

Anyway, key steps to saving money whilst food shopping are:
Step 1 - Write a list and stick to it (as much as possible anyway - it's only natural to lack will power when faced with a chocolate offer)
Step 2 - Make sure your list is sensible and doesn't just comprise of 'Vodka' and 'Beans'. Not a healthy combo and you will regret having empty cupboards when that Vodka bottle is empty.
Step 3 - Don't just get drawn in by huge 3 FOR 2 signs as it may be cheaper to buy things separately
Step 4 - Buy veg at a fruit and veg stall or green grocer as it's cheaper and the veg is much nicer (good for stir frying)
Step 5 - Get a Nectar/Clubcard as you save up so much money on there by the end of term (well spent on vodka)
Step 6 - Say goodbye to John West Tuna or Hellman's Mayonnaise. Basics/Everyday value produce is not always terrible, although I would avoid the Sainsbury's basics mayonnaise. You can stoop that low. And you will. Sorry.

Mainly, make sure you have a list that actually has stuff you want (and physically need) and stick to it otherwise it'll be toast and beans for supper again. That doesn't look so good on Instagram, even with a filter.

Read my Guide to Student Cooking to see what you can do with your lovely purchases.

Going to University (Part 2)

So, you're thoroughly sick of waking up with Alcohol Amnesia and wanting to vommit the entire day. You're also about to regret how much lovely parent-bought Waitrose food you ate when you were hungover as you will need tolive on supermarket own label basic everything from now on. You may have ambitions of this not happening, in fact, you may actively vow to never ever stoop that low but you will when you realise you've spent Brazil's yearly budget during Freshers. Savage. Don't worry, Sainsbury's offer a decent basics range although I'd avoid any frozen ready meal from them (cue horse meat jokes). Most else they offer is extremely  good value for money.

Now you feel likea proper student (constantly queezy and tired), it's time to go to your introductory lectures. Just a warning, you'll hate everyone giving the lectures because they're so fresh-faced and seem not to rate a hangover as a serious medical condition nor acknowledge that going out is more important than learning to First Years. Conversely, you are sitting there having had 3 hours sleep for the last 4 nights and have to not only listen to the fairly important information the lecturers are giving you but have to participate in the mad scramble for friends to sit with for the duration of the year. All looking like a painted turd wearing all the new 'uni clothes' your parents bought you and smelling like a tramp. Glorious. These are the kind of problems you will face now, not 'I wonder what I want to eat out of this over-stocked fridge' or 'No,Mum, I want the crusts cut off'. However, it is likely that 90% of the people in that brightly-lit lecture theatre is feeling just as bad as you are and looking nearly as bad (because nobody can feel as bad as you can or understand the pain you're going through).

Introductory lectures over, the next week brings excitement (for the coolest people among us) as you can use all the fresh, new notepads, pens, highlighters that comes with a new year of education. Obviously, this time you don't openly compare pencil cases with the person next to you as that would be immature but you clock them as a potential buddy or deem them unsuitable on ground of stationery clashes. You will soon lose interest in taking neat lecture notes when you realise your lecturers actually don't care whether you understand or not. You pay them your £9,000 for them to sweep your questions aside for third years and give you less attention than a mother ignoring the incessant cries of 'Mum,Mum, are we there yet?'. This will allow you to complain all the time and if it isn't a hobby of yours already, take it up and quick because you're soon to bea proper student. You'll also need to consider Twitter (if you don't already tweet every detail of your day) and Instagram (so you can upload photos of your amazing home-cooked spaghetti bolognese and pretend you're Nigella/Jamie). And if you've Instagrammed your bedroom but still need a few more useless pieces ofpaper then it's off to Freshers' Fair we go...

Freshers' Fair is one of the weirdest events of the year. Unless you knew people before going to uni, you end up going with flatmates or people you've only just met which means you have to censor what you join to fit in or escape endless questions about aweird hobby or interest. For example, if you join Pole Dancing Society,you are automatically judged to be a slut and if you join a sport, everyone assumes you've represented at least your county or school's 1st team at it. Also, there are more stalls than there are rainy days in England all trying to get your attention using bright colours, music, videos, posters, free gifts butmost of all, food. You'll come back with more sweets than a fat child trick-or-treating and you'll throw most of them away. You'll also throw away 80% of the stuff you get there and wonder why you joined the Trainspotting society (after finding out it's not about the film). It is fun though and was one of the last times I remember actually being motivated this year by so many enthusiastic 70%+ 2nd and 3rd year students (that's a very good percentage now by the way). If you are losing out in the battle for a close group of friends then a society or sport is a greatway to meet people. I joined Hockey and enjoyed the first 'Come and Play day' where we drank on the astro, (how wild, yah?) and played games. Joining a sport also fills up your first year because actual university work will fill up very little. Be prepared to stoop down to Jeremy Kyle audience level, every single day as you'll have nothing better to do. Also, if you actually do join societies and sports, which cost you yet more money, you will feel much more fulfilled and less full of regret at the end of your first year. First year is all about enjoying yourself as you have no responsibility (most firstyear work doesn't count towards your final degree classification and only haveto get 40% to get into the next year).

Congratulations,you've done Freshers week(s), Freshers Fair and some lectures. You are a fully-fledged university student. Go and have some experiences you can't tell your parents about (if you're that way inclined). 

Going to University (Part 1)

Congratulations or commiserations, you're going to a University.

You are about to enter a world of mature students, serious students, childish students, stoner students, raver students, cliquey students, lazy students, eccentric students, slutty students, students that are more alcohol than water and so much more (most of those adjectives can also be extended to the academics you'll encounter). I aim to give you a comprehensive guide of everything you need to survive going to university (I write this on the day of my la

st lecture of first year). So, whether you've had a Gap Yah (highly recommended) or not, you are bound to think that university is about being drunk all the time, not going to lectures and napping and to a large extent, you're right. 

I can only speak for those who landed in their insurance university and not those who were fortunate enough to go to their first choice. I must say, I was looking forward to going to uni but the fact I missed out by one UMS mark and therefore grade was not filling me with confidence about going somewhere I didn't originally want to go. Thankfully, I have subsequently discovered the city I'm in is much more interesting, fun and exciting than my first choice and it's all gone rather well (so keep the faith). For both the lucky ones who did get into their first choice uni and those who are there through circumstance  I bet you can't wait. The excitement begins even before you pack up all your earthly possessions and move into your shoe box you'll now call 'home' (much to the disgust of your parents). You can find all your new friends on Facebook who you'll clash with when nobody wants to tidy up their dishes and assorted mess from predrinks (this only gets worse during the year). You can therefore make immediate, inevitable judgements about your flatmates based on that tiny passport-sized Facebook profile picture they think sends a good image of themselves out to the world. Now it's time to meet them...

OK so you've packed up your entire life into your parent's car ready for them to take you to your new home and leave you all alone. For me, it was only a 1 hour drive to my independence and subsequent, total responsibility which meant I wasn't nervous for very long. You then have to find a place near your halls in the pedestrianised-zone for your parents' car. My Dad insisted on taking the only space available blocking the entrance to the door to my block. Don't worry, it was actually quite a good idea and not that embarrassing (people don't refer to me as the girl who blocked the door on the first day - these people would have very good memories and sad lives). My Dad is a very practical man and brought a trolley-type-thing to transport my abundant amount of stuff I thought I needed. Yes, say goodbye to this level of practicality, enthusiasm and ingenuity as this will be long gone by the hazy first morning you wake up wearing nothing but your shoes and last night's face and are too lazy to boil the kettle. Picking up your room key, however, is the first obstacle. You will be in a small reception room in a long queue, trying to work out the system faster than your parents to prove your independence. Room key obtained, you are now sitting in your new empty room with your parent(s) and your life in boxes. Part of you wants your parent(s) to leave so you can look like a proper adult in front of your new friends and part of you wants them to stay forever and look after you so you can be lazy. Unfortunately (or fortunately), they do leave and there you are with your biggest challenge yet: decorating your bedroom. Once all posters and pictures from what you regard as your childhood but was, in fact, 2 months ago on a family holiday, are all up on the wall, it's time to socialise. This may mean something different before you go to uni but here, it means getting drunk (blotto, bladdered, gazeeboed for my more vocabulary-laden readers).

If you're one of those lucky buggers that took a Gap Yah, it's likely you've already done some serious drinking (you will take drinking far more seriously than anything else in first year by the way). This may mislead you to believe you can drink people under the table and will undoubtedly result in not making out after predrinks where you played Ring of Fire and downed several half-vodka half-lemonades to the soundtrack of "Weeeeee like to drink with......". This is also a dangerous probability for you little nippers coming straight from school having only ever, at most, had half a bottle of wine to yourself at Christmas lunch and now feel you must prove yourself. It's a right of passage and you won't even miss out on that much on one night of Freshers (just make sure it isn't the first night, eh?). Also, if you are so inclined, you can begin to fill up your slot on the 'Chunder Chart' and gloat about it to all visitors to the flat (except your parents who will never see said tally).

Read Part 2 of this guide, including Freshers’ Fair and the inevitability of supermarket basics-level food